


look how the stars shine for you

by cannibalisticshadows



Category: Megamind (2010)
Genre: F/M, Family Feels, Fluff, Genetic Disorders & Abnormalities, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, Light Angst, Original Character - Freeform, Parent-child relationships, Romance, Slice of Life, megamind being a father figure is my jam ok?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-13
Updated: 2019-02-13
Packaged: 2019-10-09 07:40:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 14,692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17402792
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cannibalisticshadows/pseuds/cannibalisticshadows
Summary: Early into their damsel and villain relationship, Roxanne insists on one thing and one thing alone.Punctuality.Thinking it's because she wants to spend time with Metro Man, Megamind sneaks into her apartment and discovers something more than he ever dared bargain for.





	1. Chapter 1

She’s a young thing.

Very easy on the eyes; which is weird, because up to this point humans all had the same gray effect on him. Perhaps it was because of her fluid way of speaking. Intelligent and and insightful. Kind blue eyes.

Roxanne Ritchi was already Metro Man’s favorite woman, it seemed, yet she was barely peaking twenty-two. Soft brown tresses fall across her pale white shoulders, curling at the ends, cupping her strong, elegant jaw. It was hard not to see her physical beauty. It was a relishable thing to find a sweet young thing like her, pretty of body and mind.

She’s a divorcee from Pennsylvania; graduated from university with a degree in journalism two years ago, and already she’s racing through a new career in Metro City with smoke on her feet. Been here not even a whole year yet and she's already the talk of the town.

It’s not long until her budding reputation reaches the one and only Metro Man. They do a few interviews together, and... it gets the better of him. How could such a lovely woman want to be with a meat head like Wayne?

Maybe she was just shrewd enough to see a fruitful opportunity in both career and financial support. Well. He could provide all that, too!

He already wanted to lecture her on the dangers of attaching herself to a man that could destroy the world on a whim with no one able to stop him when he kidnaps her for the first time. Yet, the moment his fishy friend pulls the sack off her head, she lets out a strangled yell and punches him in the face.

Oh jolly.

From then on he ties her hands behind her back.

Steadily they get used to the other; she rapidly is becoming use to his half-manic behavior. His inventions, his style, his flair on the dramatics. After all, he hunkered down in an abandoned theater. 

He started to pick up on her own habits. Miss Ritchi was a very practical woman; she cuts her hair short because “flying with Metro Man is a recipe for bad hair”. She rolls her eyes when he throws a whirling blade in her face. She’s got a silver tongue when she wishes to. She’s so use to him by now that if he left her untied, she’d sit on her hands all prettily and roll her eyes as he tripped over himself. 

Yet there are things she laid out early on in their relationship that she made him swear not to cross. One, never approach her at her home. Not him, not Minion. Secondly, if he was going to kidnap her, he should do it on a weekday, between 8 a.m to 3 p.m. Weekends were forbidden to him. 

All she really insists on is this. 

“I need to be back home by two thirty, okay?” She asks once, seriousness lacing her face. Brows burrowed, lips turned down, eyes hard on him. He can’t bring himself to deny such a little thing. No _“please make the ropes looser,”_ no _“I’m terribly afraid of highs,”_ no _“I’m afraid of the situation at hand”_. She makes not one peep about anything else, exlucing his “predictability”, which is insanely insulting. She’s the one who begs on the time he snags her!

If he ever suggests kidnapping her at a different time, she looks like it’d be the end of the world. And so he follows her rules.

He complies because she’s quite the desirable damsel. He does wish she’d scream more, but any other woman would probably never shut up. And Metro Man appears to favor her above all others, besides his mother. The media loves her. She’s gorgeous both inside and out. What’s not to like?

But the time. Always about time, with her.

Megamind thinks it’s because of some woman-related thing he’d have no understanding of. Hell. He doesn’t get a lot of human male things, either. 

Yet as the sixth month of their professional relationship passes, he decides to take a ride down Main St. in the invisible car around sunset, and—

He sees her sitting down at a cafe with none other than Wayne. And his hand is over hers.

 _Oh, get out of town!_

A little hurt, he puts the car in reverse and speeds back to the Lair within a few minutes, pulling out a random evil scheme from a box and putting it into action before he could even say “Minion, get ready.”

Oh, _that’s_ why she wants punctuality!? To be all KISSY FACE with WAYNE!?

He tells himself he’s not jealous. Tries to quell the anger. But. He thought she’d valued smarts over muscle. Well. At least he thought. 

He doesn’t feel bad when she groans in annoyance at yet another kidnapping.

After that moment he ignores the punctuality rule. 

He kidnaps her on a weekday after three, a time which she told him was “not acceptable”. Megamind expects her to get angry. Yell. Pitch a fit. Show a side to her that tells him she’s not the perfect woman he’d fantasized her to be. 

Though she is a bit upset when the knock-out spray wears out, and throws out a few words he’d forbid on live television, most of all she’s… worried.

She looks at him like he’s done some grave transgression against her family. _”I can’t be here! I need to go, right now! Megamind!”_

So he tries to get her into their game, like usual. But. She’s entirely uncooperative! If that doesn’t make it worse, then trying to convince Minion to convince him to let her go takes the cake.

But. 

Megamind is weak, before her eyes. And so he relents, fuming and upset they never even got to call Metro Man yet. 

She’s knocked out, and Minion drops her off at Main St, as she asked to be.

Megamind escapes to his room and sleeps for about five hours, before getting up to work on an even better plan than before.

But.

He wants to know what’s so specially about Wayne that she has to reserve time for him. It infuriates him to no end, but Miss Ritchi is a smart woman. Surely there’s an underlining reason… She can’t… love him… right? The thought terrifies him.

So, against another one of her rules, he goes to her apartment the following day.

It’s seven at night, and the sun has set and the one or two stars the city lights allow him to see are out. A breeze ruffles through his cape as he lands on her balcony. Turning his hover bike off, he jumps down and dehydrates it. Sticking it into his pocket he turns around and presses his face to the glass of her window.

In all of his illegal activities, spying into a woman’s home is the most… daring. A little too much for him, pressing against certain boundaries even he’s too refined to cross. Yet here he is, his inhumanly green eyes hungrily eating up her apartment.

It screams Roxanne Ritchi. 

A red brick wall is to his right. A little four-person cherry-wood table, topped with a vase of lovely red roses. Small yet practical kitchen with a silver fridge, decorated in a few colorful things by cartoon magnets. There’s a set of spiral stairs to the far left, past her little living room of a bright red couch and black coffee table. A loft apartment, he thinks for a moment but sees about three doors overlooking the railing of the second floor. The lighting is low, coating the apartment in hazy orange light. 

He pulls away, seeing no sign of Miss Ritchi or Scotty Boy. 

Unless.

Gritting his teeth he pulls out his de-gun and tries pushing into the apartment. The doors are locked. Why would she lock the balcony doors when she’s on the one-hundreth thousand floor of the building!? 

Skillfully he unlocks the doors and steps inside, feeling like an alien stepping onto alien ground.

Well. It was true.

A small voice from one of the bedrooms upstairs sets him on guard, and he aims his gun at whatever might come forth. His hearing is thrice as powerful as a human’s, he learned early on, and he tunes in with a glower. 

“I love you, baby,” comes Miss Ritchi’s soft voice.

He wants to cry. What did Wayne do disserve this woman’s affection?

Megamind steps back and lowers his gun. This wasn’t his place. He shouldn’t be here to begin with. And why now? They set the standards early on. Months ago. Who was he to want this little woman, who was at best eight years younger than him? 

The first door opens and out comes Roxanne herself, stepping forth from a dimly lit room. With her soft little hand she closes the door, but leaves it open a crack. She’s also humming to herself, swaying her hips as she comes down the stairs. 

He hasn’t been spotted yet. Panicking, he ducks for the sofa and crouches down, praying she doesn’t see him in her apartment like the pathetic creep he was. 

She’s holding what looks like a tiny thermometer, and a bottle of pills, which rattle as she comes skipping down the stairs. Her bare feet pad along the floor as she goes to the kitchen. She’s being quiet; yes. Wayne’s hearing is much more sensitive than his. 

But why the hell is she seemingly serving his butt when Miss Ritchi is the one deserving the praise!?

He's decided that he can’t stay here, it’s time to go. He shouldn't have come at all. He's nowhere near as handsome as Wayne. He's not human. Well. Wayne's not either but he's anatomically correct as far as humans go. So he gets up and lets out the breath he was holding.

She jumps around so fast she nearly screams, but she merely gasps and looks at him with shock.

And then fury. 

“Megamind!” She whisper-shouts. “What the hell are you doing here!?”

“I _was_ going to kidnap you,” he forces on some of his more eeevil persona. “But it appears you’ve put the golden boy to bed!”

A look of—something falls across her face. Her brows lower, her lips purse together. She’s quiet for exactly two seconds before—

“Excuse me?”

It isn’t a question.

It’s a threat, and he knows it, because suddenly her hands are on a drawer, and she’s pulling it out to withdraw a knife.

Fuck did he mess up. Well. Fine, then. Wake Wayne up and schlep him back to prison! Doesn't mean he can poke at Miss Ritch's seams. 

“Megamind,” she starts, back to him. “I want you out of my apartment or so help me God I will chase you out myself.”

“Oooooh,” he waves his hands, despite the worry that he’s crossed a serious boundary. “My nosy reporter has teeth! Do tell me how that’ll work. I’ll just come right back!”

“Ssh!!”

“Or what?”

_“Shut. Up—“_

“La la la la!”

“Mega—!“

“Mommy?”

He freezes and whips his head around as a small, young voice greets them from the second floor.

And there’s a little boy, standing at the railing. No older than three or four, dressed in race car footie pajamas and a stuffed crocodile in his arms. His skin is pale, paler than Ritchi’s, with wide crossed brown eyes. A mop of brown hair sits upon his little head, almost spiked up onto a mohawk from how disheveled he is. He opens his mouth to speak, but the child beats him to it.

“Mommy? Who are you talking to?”

Well, shit.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm freaking out from all the positive feedback so far! Really glad ya'll liked the first chapter!

He’s not sure what to think when the human toddler, clutching his stuffed toy, addresses Miss Ritchi as his female parent.

First of all—

“Aiden,” Roxanne starts, still aiming the knife at Megamind as she answers her apparent offspring with the softest, sweetest voice he’d ever heard her use. “It’s okay, sweetie. Go back to bed. Mommy’s just taking care of some busin—“

“Is Grandma here?”

“No, honey.”

Megamind was confused. Surely the child would start screaming by now. Never had a child, even in his days at the Lil’ Gifted School, reacted to his face without mild panic, at the least! Yet “Aiden” hadn’t seemed to lay eyes on Megamind yet, though the boy was standing a few feet away—

Actually, he wasn’t even looking at his mother. _Is he…?_

Megamind looks back and forth between mother and child. Miss Ritchi looks much too young to start reproducing for the modern era, so whenever she had Aiden—He gulps and looks for a quick way to escape. Who was the father? Was he coming home soon? Was it—he winced—was it Wayne?

Wayne couldn’t… have a child with a human. Could he?

No. No, there is no physical resemblance to the superhero. This child’s hair is a lighter shade of brown, almost a deep golden beige. His eyes, too, are dark, unlike his mother’s blue. His face is like his mother’s, same nose and chin. Nothing at all like Wayne. 

Roxanne suddenly turns to Megamind and growls, without words, _“Get. Out.“_

“Mommy, I’m thirsty.”

Megamind isn’t sure what to do besides make a mad dash out of here, a domain not meant for him what so ever, but as she pinches her nose and glares at him for all she’s worth, all he can do is rear his head back in his collar like a turtle trying to crawl back into its shell.

“One second, baby, I—“

The little boy is impatient, though, and trails his little fingers along the metal railing and begins to descend the stairs. He holds onto the railing until he’s on the main floor. Miss Ritchi clicks her tongue and pulls the knife on him, making him rear his head back again as it comes close to touching his chin. “Touch him and I will kill you.”

Megamind nods frantically. Huffing, she puts the knife down and quickly goes to scoop her son up, perching him on her hip. 

She glares at Megamind but turns a much more affectionate look to Aiden. Running her fingers through his wild hair, she says, “You’re still burning up...” She shakes her head and carries him to the kitchen, gives a wide berth between them and he. 

“I no feel good, Mommy”

She frowns, getting out a small cup and filling it with filtered water from the tap. Aiden takes it with both hands and guzzles noisy, closing his eyes as if it would help him enjoy the drink better. When the boy reopens his eyes, Megamind realizes he has a better view of him. Her son is a bit cross-eyed.

Megamind waves a hand, to try drawing the boy’s attention, but he doesn’t get a reaction. Miss Ritchi sends him another glare and holds her son to her tighter, cupping Aiden’s head to her chest. 

“Who here?”

“Aiden, this is… a work friend of mine. Mr. Blue.”

Aiden is silent, finishing his water. 

“He was just _leaving_ ,” she spits, giving him a meaningful look, turning her body as if to shield her son from her frequent kidnaper’s view. 

Megamind, finally pulling himself out of his stupor, shakes himself back to reality and listens to her.

He leaves.

~.~.~

He doesn’t come near Miss Ritchi for two whole days. 

Never had he guessed she had a child of her own; naturally, his scientific mind supplied, she was a desirable mate as far as humans went. Beautiful, smart, witty, caring. It shouldn’t be a surprise she would wish to reproduce and spread her favorable genes. Though the one question that was eating him up was _who was the father?_

According to his research, which he jumps further into after the incident at her apartment, she filed for a divorce to a man named Charles Stiller a little over a year ago, shortly before moving here to Metro City. Her offspring had to be no older than three, so she must have had him in her late teens. Eesh. But he had to hand it to her; she would still be in university, according to her education history, upon baring her son. This Mr. Stiller, he gritted his teeth, hopefully, did one thing right by helping to raise a son who was bl…

Megamind ran through his mind’s database and reflected on what he observed that night. Aiden had to be, without a doubt, visually impaired. And if Miss Ritchi chose to divorce this Mr. Stiller, that implied she wanted to remove herself from him. Was the child in joint custody? Was custody still a problem? Was he getting medical treatment, if it was needed? It tore him up inside to think Miss Ritchi, clearly, a hardworking and now a doting mother was struggling. Megamind may be evil, but… he would never so much as think of harming a child. Even he believes that innocence should be protected.

From that moment on Megamind swore to keep by Miss Ritchi’s rules and only associate her when appropriate. Maybe, if there was something special or needed involving her son and she couldn’t be kidnapped… Well. She should feel free to tell him when something came up.

So, by the third day, he kidnaps her at twelve thirty and sets her in the chair, forgoing the rope for once and just waiting for her to awake. Today he’s set his evil scheme, not really a scheme this time, in an abandoned cannery. Minion questions his out of character behavior, but Megamind brushes it off and promises to tell his water-breathing companion later. 

“Miss Ritchi,” he greets her with a voice that carries across the warehouse. “It has come to my attention that, due to your unique situation, more fluidity can be allowed into our terms and conditions.”

The young reporter shakes her head, squinting at him as if he’s changed skin color. “I don’t understand.”

“I am referring to your offspring.”

She goes on instant guard. “Megamind, I swear if you lay so much as a finger n hi—“

Megamind quickly tries to quell her rising agitation. “I swear I shall not come within ten feet of him! You have my word I will not involve him in my plans against Metro Man!”

This lets her relax a bit, but she’s still glowering at him in suspicion. 

“What I’m trying to say, is… If you ever need to be with him and cannot handle a kidnapping, tell me.”

“What?” Her eyes go wide.

“Miss Ritchi, I may be evil but I am… lenient of children. If he needs you, his mother, just let me know.”

She’s silent for a moment. Her blue eyes shift from him, to a window, to the floor—

“Thank you.”

He can’t quite believe his ears, but she has her gaze on him again, with something much more kinder. It sends an electric shock up his spine. “Thank you, Megamind. That means a lot.”

“And you are very welcome! Errr. Here,” he takes hold of the little sticky notes he brought with him and tears off a sheet, writes a number down, and rolls over to her in his chair. “If something comes up on a weekday just let me know.”

“Megamind…”

“For once, this isn’t a trap.”

A strange occurrence happens. Her cheeks flush, a faint pink. How curious. And then she smiles, ear to ear, takes it, and thanks him again. There is nothing about her that tells him she's being untruthful.

He’s not sure what to do with the warm fluttering in his stomach as she tucks it in her shirt's breast pocket.


	3. Chapter 3

About a month goes by until Megamind and Roxanne fall back into a comfortable routine. Though an understanding comes between them, she hasn’t exactly allowed him to be privy to her private life with her son. She is still fiercely protective of Aiden, and if he ever so much as mentioned him, she would clench up. 

He’s starting to understand why; she’s afraid he’ll drag the child into one of his evil schemes. Which he couldn’t even dream of doing.

Anyway, after a month goes by he finally gets a text from her, early Monday morning.

_> Aiden is sick_

He stares at his little phone. Megamind didn’t recognize the number but it was clear to him who it was. He doesn’t use his phone much, besides his more secretive business, but even then he doesn’t really get texts. But there it is, in his inbox. Megamind squints at the small square screen. Wasn’t the offspring ill on the night he saw it? Was it common for human children to get sick more than once? When Megamind was very young, he got sick frequently, his small body struggling to get use to the Earth’s atmosphere. Now he rarely, if ever, gets sick. Were human children similar in that regard?

Unsure how to respond, he sits there in his chair mutely with his thumbs hovering over the keypad. “Good to know”? “Hope he gets better”? “That’s too bad”? He hated human interaction.

His phone chimes again not twenty seconds later.

_> Please don’t plan anything until he’s better_

He responds to this with: _When will that be?_

_> When he’s better_

The enigmatic answer bothers him. Megamind feels like he should inquire after the boy, but he doesn’t want to overstep like he did a month ago. The alien purses his lips. Should he do something…? For her? Perhaps as a compensation for letting him kidnap her? What could he do, anyway? He didn’t know the first thing about human children. Well… even he knows one common treatment for a sick person. _Soup_. Soup specifically made of the broth of domestic fowl.

Megamind rapidly taps his fingers along his work desk. Sitting here doing nothing but work on a more advanced version of his de-gun was going to get him no where. His plans for tomorrow were canceled, obviously. But now all he was thinking about was Miss Ritchi and The Ritchi Offspring. And besides… he needed his number one damsel! He couldn’t defeat Metro Man without her as bait!

Gritting his teeth he gets up and calls for Minion. “Minion! I desire the soup of chickens! Immediately!”

~.~.~.~

When he gets to her apartment, Megamind has a slight stain on his spandex. Riding the hoverbike while caring a small pot of soup wasn’t such a great idea, but—there’s still plenty left, and he gives himself a mental pat on the back for thinking of putting the pot’s cover on. 

He parks the bike on her balcony and swallows, wondering if this was such a good idea to begin with. But then he reassures himself, because this is supposed to help ill humans, and he needs Miss Ritchi available to him again. She can’t just use her precious offspring as an excuse to get away from his evilness! 

Before he can knock on the glass doors, he takes in the sight in the apartment.

Mother and son are currently on the couch. Toys are strewn around the living room, a small shirt thrown over the back of the couch. The boy is completely bare besides a pair of underpants, and he straddles his mother’s lap with his arms around her neck as she appears to be texting on the phone. Miss Ritchi is in deep thought, doing whatever business she is taking care of, but hugs her son to her chest and murmurs words into his wild hair.

When he knocks on the glass, she looks up in surprise. 

He waves awkwardly. 

Her first reaction is one of severe annoyance that makes him want to get back on the bike and make a quick escape before she finds that knife again. Then, her expression shifts as she sees what he’s holding. Quirking one elegant brow she sets her phone down and stands up with her son still clinging to her.

“Greetings!” He says when she opens the doors, propping Aiden up with her hip, one arm leaning against the doorframe as if to say _you are not welcome inside_. “I see I may have given you the wrong idea, Miss Ritchi! When I said you could text me I didn’t mean any free-bees! My evil does not wait! So!” He holds the soup out as if it’ll bite him, the liquid sloshing inside. “I bring this in hopes that the offspring makes a speedy recovery.”

Roxanne doesn’t respond for a full seven seconds. Megamind squirms under her hard gaze.

“Is this a joke?”

“I assure you, miss, it is not. To stress that it isn’t a trap, nor is it poison, I made Minion make it. He can be quite the cook when he wants to be.” 

She gives him a skeptical look, but finally after what feels like years she lowers her arm and steps back, using that same arm to cup the back of Aiden’s head. As if she had to guard the boy against him. She bounces him a little, nodding her head to the kitchen. 

Gulping, he places the pot on the stove and turns back around. 

“How sick is…?”

Roxanne doesn’t respond for a moment, and he thinks she’s ignoring him and just wants him back out of her den, away from her baby, like the good mother bear (lioness, he mused) she was. She doesn’t respond, because Aiden begins to stir. 

The boy lifts his head from her shoulder and squirms around enough that he seems to want down. But Roxanne clutches him to her, and he begins to fuss. “Down, Mommy!”

“Aiden, Mr. Blue is here with… soup.” She sounds unsure. 

Aiden perks up. “I wanna eat,” he says, excitement lacing his voice but weak with his ailment. 

“I know, I know…” Roxanne glances to Megamind, then to the pot. “How’s your tummy?”

“Good. Want food.”

“Think ya can keep it down, buddy? Or do you wanna stick with ginger ale and crackers?”

The boy answers with a shake of his head, bouncing in his mother’s arms. “Blue’s soup, peas Mommy!” Peas? The soup didn’t have peas. 

She sighs and finally lets him down.

He’s a tad smaller than the average three-year-old, but he probably makes up for it by his hair. Megamind has a sudden, irrational urge to run his fingers through it. With sightless eyes, Aiden “looks” around with his hands until he finds his mother’s leg. 

She walks into the kitchen with Aiden trailing behind by holding onto the back of her loose t-shirt like a baby elephant. 

“He got some stomach flu from the other day-care kids. Started tossing his cookies Saturday, but hasn’t since last night.”

Megamind doesn’t answer until he realizes she’s addressing him and not her son. He also doesn’t understand how throwing baked goods around is bad, but whatever she says.

“Oh. So, the offspring will recover?”

“His name is—”

“M’Aiden,” the boy suddenly said with a shout. “I’m _three years old!”_ He holds up two fingers and his thumb, speaking as if this is some vital and fascinating fact. 

The villain panics. Never has he been addressed so happily before. “Ah…” 

“And yes, he’ll get better. Isn’t that right, booger?” Her voice raises in tone, playfull, as she turns her attention to her boy.

Aiden giggles, but it’s weak. Megamind, though oblivious with most human behavior, can see young Ritchi is truly ill. Roxanne goes to the pot and lifts the lid, breathing it in. Glancing at Megamind, as if to see if he’d stop her from eating it herself, she takes a wooden spoon off the wall and takes a sip herself. She smacks her lips. 

“Minion made this?” 

“Yes.”

She grabs a small glass from the cabinet and fills it with the broth. After covering the soup again, she and Aiden sit down at the table. He climbs into his seat, barely making it to the table itself. But Roxanne pulls his chair up beside her and helps him with the soup.

“M’hungy.”

“I know,” she says patiently, as she gets the boy situated. Steadily, she holds the cup to him and watches him take a little sip. When he immediately tries to take a bigger gulp, she slows Aiden down and murmurs something against the side of his head. Roxanne opens her mouth to speak, and it takes Megamind a moment to realize she’s addressing him and not the spawn. “He’s starving… You came at a good time. He hasn’t thrown up for several hours so this is perfect… I just hope he can keep it down.” 

Megamind begins to fidget. What was he suppose to do with this information? He shouldn’t be too involved with his damsel’s personal life. Yet it found himself eating up her words as if it’s something he can’t live without knowing. 

They lapse into silence, with him standing near the table, watching mother and son interact. A voice in the back of his mind asks, “Is the offspring aware his mother gets kidnapped frequently?” “Is this ‘day-care’ she spoke of safe?” “Is the one who provided the sperm to help spawn the offspring currently around?” But he doesn’t voice any of this. 

He feels like he shouldn’t be privy this at all. Yet he couldn’t pull away, even as his chest begins to tighten up as if a fist had clenched over his two alien hearts.

“Mis-tur Blue.”

Megamind jerks as he’s addressed. The only ones to ever call him _Blue_ is his prison uncles. And now Roxanne’s spawn. 

He’ll tolerate it.

“What?” His voice comes out rougher than he intended. He’s glared at by Roxanne.

“See you, peas?” Aiden makes a squeezing motion with both hands in the air.

Scrunching up his features, he turns to Roxanne for translation. She frowns but raises a hand to draw him close.

Ugh. What? Megamind tilts his head side to side like a cautious cat, but takes a few baby steps closer until he’s hovering near them.

By being this close to the child he can properly take in his features. His eyes, now that was what Megamind really wants to see. 

Aiden’s eyes are dark brown and a bit crossed, like he already knew, but there's also very slight cloudiness to them. They also seem a _bit_ larger than normal, prompting him to wonder what was wrong with the offspring. Could humans be born blind or is it caused by something? Megamind didn’t know and hadn’t cared to know until this point. He wants to ask what's wrong with Aiden, but he's afraid of crossing a line.

He’s not quite a few inches away when suddenly Roxanne rolls her eyes at him. Before he can ask why he’s needed, she does something unexpected. She gently takes his wrist and draws him down between them, until he’s having to crouch down. Aiden reaches out, and then Megamind understands. Lifting his own hand to protest, he involuntarily directs the boy to touch his face.

It’s strange, being touched. Minion, though his best companion in all the galaxies, was a fish and has to stay underwater. He can swim with Minion, but touching is another matter. His uncles handled him physically for a time, and the Warden, a surrogate father if nothing else, did as well, but no one really…

Megamind nearly gasps as the boy’s sticky, warm little fingers brush against his cheekbones, trailing down his face to his nose, up to his eyes, and then back down to his cheeks and lips. He can hear the child breath from his nose. Strong, yet a little wheezy. Aiden smells like peaches and cream, youth, and acidy sickness. 

It makes him want to protect this tiny human and the one who spawned it.

When the boy’s curious, feather-light hands get close to his ears he pulls away. 

“‘Tank you for the soup,” Aiden says, mildly surprising the alien with his manners. All Megamind is able to do his flutter his hands and awkwardly back away. 

Megamind can’t find the words to speak. 

Suddenly Roxanne is touching him again, and it’s a sensory overload. Her fingers just barely brush against the shell of his ear as she reaches for his shoulder—

He stands up so fast his vision blurs. 

It’s almost unfair. Roxanne was a beautiful woman, blessed with having a lovely son, visually impaired or not. It was something he could never have. It wasn’t meant for him.

_He shouldn’t be here._

Turning on the ball of his foot, he spins around and darts for the door. Roxanne looks up in surprise as he runs into a chair in his haste to leave. She calls out to him, but he’s already on his hoverbike. 

He’s long gone by the time Aiden finishes the cup of Minion’s broth.

~.~.~

She texts him again two days later, stating, _Aiden's good now. TY 4 broth._ ”

Megamind doesn’t respond. He kidnaps her that day at one o’clock and pretends as if nothing happened.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Megamind can solve any math equation. Rocket science? Pfft. 
> 
> Car seats? The definition of unsolvable.

If nothing else, Megamind was a gentleman. 

Which, despite his last visit, Miss Ritchi didn’t believe that quite yet, but on a particular Tuesday afternoon in early August she was given reason to change her mind. Much to the frustration of Megamind.

Megamind had put together what he believed to be his best plan yet. A good old classic rocket, which he would strap Miss Ritchi to, with an army of his newer brainbots to distract Metro Man. Of course he didn’t plan to actually… kill the young mother. No. But a little fun never happened without a bruise or two to show off, right?

“Minion,” he calls to his fishy companion, sitting in the invisible car as they wait for Miss Ritchi to arrive. It’s around ten in the afternoon, and he knew his main damsel had a semi-important report to make on the reopening of Metro City Public Library. Hmm. He was tempted to wait until after she gave the report, since this did spark his interest somewhat. 

“Yes, Sir?” Minion clacks away at the keyboard to his computer, sitting at the driver’s seat. Megamind glanced at the screen from the corner of his eye, unsurprised to see his only friend scrolling through what looked like oatmeal recipes. Huffing, the blue alien turned back to gaze out the window. Autumn was rolling in. Though the remains of summer were still evident, the air was cooling with soft icy kisses, with a few flowers still in bloom. He watched as a bee hovered over a purple tulip on the flower bed out front of the library.

“What do you think of Miss Ritchi?”

He hears Minion’s suit turn a bit. “Uh, sorry?”

“Miss Ritchi. She’s a the perfect example of a healthy woman in her prime, no?”

Minion shrugs his robotic shoulders. “I guess?”

Megamind grunts in response, throwing his legs onto the dashboard as he tries to get comfortable. He didn’t care much for being in small spaces for long amounts of time, and his legs were itching to get out and stretch. But at least he could exercise his mind over the one really fascinating thing. Miss Ritchi and the Ritchi Offspring. He had yet to have any hint toward the father of the child, and the soup incident was about seven weeks ago. She hadn’t graced him with any knowledge of her offspring, nor texted him again. She might as well live alone. Did she have other family members? Did they help? Where was the boy during the weekday? At this “day-care”? Was that the only help she received? By the sounds of it the place had to cost money, as most education did. Ugh. Humanity was so fickle. 

In his earliest memories, his parents hardly left him alone, but if they did, and they did exactly four times for under half an hour in his eight days of life back where he was born, he stayed with others with similar features as his parents, indicating related DNA, joined with a few others that weren’t. Someone was always helping another, even if there was no similar blood ties. People, he found, rarely did that on Earth without an underlining reason. Like money.

It kind of pissed him off.

Pulling him out of his thoughts, he heard the familiar sound of the news van _vruming_ up the street, coming to a careful halt in front of the library. After a moment, out came Roxanne herself, dressed in a lovely black pencil skirt, with a waist-cinching red dress coat with shiny black buttons. Impatient to start his brilliant plan, and eager to see her reaction to his new and improved bots, he jumped out the second she shut the driver side door. She appeared to be alone, no sign of her elderly Asian cameraman in sight. “Now, Minion!”

She barely let out a squeak as Minion sprayed her, and Megamind caught her around the waist gracefully, reminding him of a dance.

“Now, quickly! We must make he—“

“Mr. Blue?”

He froze. 

Whipping his head around, his wide green eyes fell upon the passenger seat within the car.

Oh, Evil Gods. No, not now…

The offspring was buckled in a cushioned car seat, strapped in securely as if his mother feared he’d fly out the windshield. He’s wearing blue jeans and a short sleeved red t-shirt, with a long sleeves undershirt beneath. There’s color in his face, unlike before. Still paler than his mother, but he looks healthier than before.

“My mommy’s letting me work with her today!” He announced happily, voice muffled by the car. When Megamind didn’t respond immediately, Aiden frowns and a mild look of panic forms across his brows. “Mr. Blue?”

“Uh,” Megamind glances to Minion. Minion, though informed that their damsel is a mother of a three-year-old, had never seen Aiden until know. He wonders what’s going on in his companion’s little mind. “Uh, right! Ritchi Offspring!” He shouts, and hands the unconscious Roxanne to Minion as he goes to the boy’s door, opening it wide. Aiden is pleased by this, and bounces in his chair. 

“Are you and mommy gonna be on TV?”

“Maybe,” he says, because honestly he doesn’t know at this point. He swore to Roxanne he’d never involve the boy, in any of his evil plans, but he was now at a predicament. 

“My mommy works on TV.”

“I am well aware…”

“Do you work on TV, too?”

“No.”

“Where’s Mommy?”

“Uh. Restroom.”

Fidgeting in his spot for a moment, Megamind has to build up the courage to come in contact with the child again. He’ll have to, as Minion’s hands are too big and too rough to handle the small boy, and he looks much to bewildered to actually see the boy for real. And, they can’t leave a blind child strapped in a van with no one around. That’s just… about as bad as involving him in Megamind’s plans. Even if they give up on the plan completely and leave Roxanne in the car, he fears the boy might panic with his mother unable to wake up.

Carefully, he reaches over and unbuckles the child, swearing quietly under his breath as he struggles with the black straps. God, do people want children to be tied like this? Not even he tied Miss Ritchi as complex as this car seat! 

“You said a bad word!”

Silently snarling, he ignores the boy as he finally, after two full minutes, he prevails over the wretched car seat. Freed from his bondage, Aiden untangles himself and twists around onto his front, sliding down onto the floor of the van. Seeing him struggle, but clearly determined, Megamind tentatively tucked his hands under the boy’s arms and set him down. 

“This is Miss Ritchi’s son?”

“Yes,” Megamind answers his companion, numbly watching Aiden reaching out for him. Oh god. Megamind tenses up as the offspring touches his leg, and, trailing his hands up, grabs onto his hand. The villain flinches and tries to yank back, but Aiden has an oddly strong grip for a human sprout.

“You have long fingers,” comments the child. Megamind huffs in annoyance, but surprisingly it's halfhearted. 

“They are.”

“What’s this?” Aiden tugs on his gloved fingers.

“Leather.”

“What’s that?”

“Dried skin.”

“Skin?”

“Kidskin, precisely. ”

Aiden’s reaction is comical.

“Uh, Sir?”

Megamind looks to Minion, pleading for help in someway. Both of them are clueless. Here they are, standing out in the open, with Miss Ritchi slung over Minion’s shoulder, and Megamind holding the hand of a small, guardian-less child. Do they… just carry on with their plans and put Aiden away in a safe room? But the offspring shouldn’t… be alone, right? To many sharp things in the Lair. Some of the brainbots like to bite. Megamind looks at Miss Ritchi’s sleeping face, oblivious to the situation at hand. Hm. Tapping his chin, Megamind finally makes his decision. 

“I think, my fishy friend, we should cancel today’s plans.”

Aiden stirs at his, still holding onto Megamind’s hand. “Mommy’s not gonna be on TV?”

“No, my dear child,” Megamind exclaims dramatically, bouncing on the balls of his feet as he walks toward the invisible car. Aiden follows closely, gripping the alien’s hand a little tighter. 

It’s quite a novice experience to hold someone’s hand. Aiden’s very warm and tiny. “Where’s Mommy?”

Megamind panics, glancing to Minion. Said woman is slung over his shoulder. Minion shakes his little body in his fish bowl head, as if to warn his charge/master of the dangers of telling the truth. “Um, she’s asleep. Yes. Very asleep! _Mummy_ is tired, so my friend and I will take you home.”

Aiden halts. It nearly pulls Megamind’s arm out its socket. “I want my mommy.”

“She’s here,” Megamind stresses, “she’s just asleep.”

“Why?”

“She’s tried!”

“Why?”

If Megamind had a head full of hair, he’d be pulling it out by now. Gritting his teeth, but trying to contain his annoyance at the small child’s questions, he picks Aiden up under the arms again. He places him in the backseat, pulling the belt over him. The boy’s too small. Aiden chirps, “I need my car seat!”

Snapping his fingers, he gets Minion to place their unconscious lady in the backseat beside Aiden. Feeling her being set beside him, he wiggles close and immediately places his hands on her. She’s unmoving. Shouting, the boy says in excited alarm, “Mommy is sleeping!”

Minion gets the car seat, puts it on the seat, and both he and Megamind share a long look and wonder how they’re gonna do this. He bends his head inside the car and examines the seat—lots of buckles and holes. Uh. He pulls the seat belt and pulls it over the seat, but that’s not quite right. He tries looping it through one of the holes in the back, but—that’s not right, either! With Minion making semi-useful advice behind him, Megamind gives up and just presses his whole weight into the seat, wraps the belt around, ties it twice, and drops Aiden in and does the little belts. At least that he can do.

Aiden, though he can’t see anything, is giggling like crazy, squirming in his seat. If Megamind wasn’t trying to pull his chin hairs out, he might find it funny, too. 

As Minion starts the car, Megamind watches the blind child from the rear view mirror. He’s prattling away about his mother’s job, using a voice that fluctuates between a small adult and baby’s, commenting that she was the prettiest lady in the whole workspace. “And she works with all the best people,” Aiden says, mouthing words very carefully, stressing each syllable. “And Grandma comes over, and Mr. Scott, and—“ Megamind momentarily has a meltdown at _’Mr. Scott’_ “—Uncle Bernard, and Mr. Carlos, and Mr. Zhang, and—“

“We’re here!” He announced, Minion pulling to a stop with a loud screech of the tires. Aiden yelps, but laughs hysterically with a clap of his hands as his mother falls against his car seat. 

Slamming the door shut behind him, both he and Minion get out, Megamind attending to the terror that was Aiden’s car seat, and Minion scooping Miss Ritchi up. Aiden grips onto his hand again, which, Megamind finds, is still strange and new, yet he is becoming use to it. Sort of. But more than ever is he glad he wears gloves.

When they burst through the front doors of the Ritchi’s apartment building, a security guard jumps up in his seat and grabs for what looks like a gun. Megamind, acting faster, dehydrates the man and huffs at the small blue cube left behind. Aiden, completely oblivious, asks, “Where’s Mr. Carlos? He always says hi.”

“Uh,” Megamind assumes it’s the man he just dehydrated. “A bit busy. Come, offspring.”

They get in the elevator, and while going for their floor, Aiden pipes up again, “Why is the elevator so loud?”

Megamind twists his jaw. It’s actually quite a good question, and now that he’s focusing on the sound, he can’t ignore it. They really should get a person to look at this. “I’m guessing a loose pipe is scratching against the wall.”

“Is that bad?”

“Not really.”

“Could it?”

“Perhaps.”

“Why?”

Megamind could care less, so he shrugs. But Aiden is still staring at his direction, albeit sightless. 

“I don’t know.”

“How does it work?”

“What work?”

“The elevator.”

Why must he ask so many questions? 

But Megamind jumps into the explanation with all the knowledge he happens to have on the elevator system, sparing no details as to quench the boy’s thirst of knowledge. Which Megamind can admire. Yes. Aiden must be as smart as his mother.

“You know lots of stuff, Mr. Blue,” remarks Aiden, tugging on his hand.

Megamind is glad the child can’t see the slight lilac blush on his face at that. Of course he was smart… the smartest being in this galaxy. But no one liked to admit it. 

Except for Aiden Ritchi.

As they finally arrive at their door, Megamind and Minion both glance at each other and then at Miss Ritchi. She was bound to wake up soon, and he couldn’t just leave them here. No. But having no way to get in… Oh whatever. Megamind pulls out a little wire he keeps in his utility belt and breaks into their apartment. Aiden lets go of Megamind’s hand and walks in happily, clearly in an environment he’s aware of and comfortable in. 

They place Roxanne at the couch, to which Aiden tells them they must tuck her in nicely. The boy provides a baby blanket, decorated in little paw prints, and throws it over his mother with a sloppy kiss to her lips. She doesn’t move.

“She should wake up soon,” Minion says nervously. Megamind nods, and rubs his hands together. They should go before she wakes up. Secondly he needs to go and call off the brainbots, disarm the rocket for now, and basically clean up the Lair because clearly, no evil plan today. 

“I’m hungry.”

Both aliens stare at the boy. Megamind shifts, looking around for something to take care of the young human’s need. 

“How about an apple?” Minion addresses the boy for the first time. “It’s a healthy snack.”

“I want food.”

“That is food,” Megamind supplies. 

“No, I want _food_ ,” insists the boy. “Mommy said we’d get lunch after!”

Megamind and Minion both panic. A quick escape was the first solution on his mind, for Miss Ritchi would wake up soon and then tend to her hungry offspring. But Minion, Megamind thinks back to, had given her a slightly larger dose than usual as they planned to set up a little longer than usual. So she had about ten more minutes until she came to.

Sighing, he looks and Minion and gestures. Minion was the caretaker, not him. But Minion’s specially was in _Megamind_ , and Megamind’s needs as a child (and now), so technically both of them were clueless when it came to human children. 

Minion finally shook himself to reality and stomped over to the kitchen. He opened the fridge and shrugged his shoulders. Meanwhile, Aiden rotated between his mother and to Megamind, oddly enough.

“Can we have mac and cheese?” 

Megamind winced. He was well aware of the dish. Sometimes they serves it at the prison, and it was rather bland and unappetizing. The only thing appealing about it was the color. Which he knew Aiden could not enjoy, unfortunately. Minion, however, piped up. “I saw a fascinating recipe for it just recently, sir! Can we?”

Why are they asking him this?

“Just feed the offspring,” Megamind groans, and sits on the floor. 

Aiden senses this, and squats down. But then he shoots up and says, “I’ll be right back!”

Questioningly, he watches the boy march up the stairs, carefully, and vanish into a room. Then, Aiden comes back with the stuffed animal he had the first time. When he comes back, he finds Megamind with a pat to his head. “You have no hair!” Dodging, as Megamind really dislikes it when anyone touches his head, he accidentally lets Aiden fall into his lap. Megamind winces, and scoots away. 

“Why are you bald?”

“Because I can’t grow hair on my head.”

“Why?”

Megamind sighs. “Just because.”

“This is Mr. Toothy,” says the boy, and puts his stuffed crocodile toy in Megamind’s hands. “He’s a al’gator.”

“Crocodile,” he corrects. “See the muzzle? Like a ‘V’. An alligator has a ‘U’ shaped muzzle.” Aiden runs his hands down the green little toy, and his mouth forms a little ‘o’. 

Aiden latches onto this information, and asks more questions. 

From then on, with Minion taking over the Ritchi kitchen, Megamind entertains the boy by answering a endless amount of seemingly simple yet complex questions. Aiden is very bright, and very curious, and wants to touch Megamind as much as possible, which is frustrating, as Megamind does not want to be touched, and tries to avoid the doubtless boxful of questions that would come with, like: “Why’s your head big? Why are your ears pointy? Why are there two heartbeats in your chest?” 

“Additionally,” Megamind elaborated, “bats also nurse their young, so they are most certainly mammals! Not avifaunal!”

“What’s ay-vi-fawn-all?” 

“Birds.”

“You could just say birds,” interrupts an amused chuckle.

Megamind freezes, caught red-headed with the Ritchi Offspring sitting beside him on the floor. Looking up, he sees Roxanne herself sitting up on the couch, watching them with her chin perched on her fist, elbow on her knee. 

“Mommy!” Exclaims Aiden, bolts up to throw himself onto his young mother. She laughs and hugs him, mushing up his hair. 

“Hey, booger!”

“You sleep’ed for a looooooong time.”

“I did, didn’t I?” She shoots her serial kidnapper _a look_ over her son’s head. He frowns, but stands up and brushes off nonexistent dust. 

“Well, now that you’re up now,” Megamind drawls, as if deeply annoyed, “I guess we’ll be finally going. Come, Minion!”

“Coming, Sir!” His fishy friend shouts, just as he’s shutting the door to the oven. “Miss Ritchi, I made some macaroni. I hope you don’t mind?”

“No,” she says cautiously, still embracing her son. “Needed to use the cheese soon anyway.”

“Enough chit-chat,” the supervillain whines, marching to the door. “We have plenty of evil to do! Goodbye, Miss Ritchi! We shall meet again!”

"Bye bye, Mr. Blue!"

Megamind pauses, but responds stiffly with, "Offspring."

He leaves with a curious feeling in his stomach.

~.~.~

Two hours later, he gets a text. It’s from her.

_Thank Minion for mac’n’cheese. Aiden loved it._

A few seconds later.

_We both did. Recipe, please?_

Megamind doesn’t respond, but when he sees her again, two days later, he hands it to her in a tightly folded slip of paper during his evil monologue.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which it's Miss Ritchi's birthday, she vents, and Aiden makes something for Mr. Blue.

According to her birth certificate, Miss Ritchi is turning twenty-three on the twenty second of October. It falls on a Thursday. And so naturally, on the principle that all birthday celebrations are meant to be undisturbed by bored supervillains, he decides to leave her alone on that day. 

Though Fridays are technically an “OK” day to kidnap her, he usually dislikes to take her at the end of the week, as Friday is the most celebrated day amongst humans, Megamind notes. He also hasn’t come near her yet this week, or last week, because Metro Man really did a number on his poor babies during his last failed scheme. 

So he hovers by the phone. Waiting, waiting, waiting for _what_ , he doesn’t know, but she should text him or something about wanting to spend time with her inner circle and relatives and… Ritchi Jr.

Yet no call comes, and as Wednesday night turns into Thursday morning, he gets up out of his chair and paces. Perhaps Miss Ritchi was already preparing for a day of good tidings and commemoration of the day she was brought into this world, and didn’t have the time, or didn’t remember (who could forget him!?), to tell him of her special 24 hours. Maybe the visually impaired offspring had gotten ill again.

He refuses to allow the thought make him frown.

So Megamind decides on his own not to kidnap her. Minion, not aware of his charge/boss’s stalking of their damsel’s life, asks why they haven’t put their next plan in action. Megamind brushes it off as wanting to perfect it.

The day bleeds out and she still hasn’t contacted him. It’s a little bothersome. Yet, why should he care? It wasn’t his business to know what she did in her spare time. 

But he’s antsy; he can’t sit still and it’s starting to agitate the brainbots. Rufous, one of the newer ones, hovers by his hand and attempts to bite him for attention. He snatches his hand away before damage can be done. Instead of smacking the bot with the big, red-painted metal mohawk, he just stokes the transparent dome of its head, static following his fingers. “Daddy’s just thinking,” he soothes, but Rufous lets out a string of _bowgs_ in displeasure. The alien sighs, plucking a page hanging off a string in his idea room. He wanted to work on a helmet that would give him the ability of telekinesis, but…

Finally Megamind throws his hands up in surrender. “Fine!” He shouts into the empty room—Minion was probably cooking or knitting for all he knew. Typical, un-evil henchfish. At his sudden change in mood, the bots around him jolt in surprise and twitter in mild fright. Ignoring them, he marches back to his work desk and grabs his cellphone. Fine. Fine! If Miss Ritchi won’t call or text him, he will! 

Without much logical thinking, which is a very bad idea, even for him, he opens a note for her number and types, _Happy Birthday, Miss Ritchi._

When he sends it, he immediately regrets it. Flaming Neurons! Why did he do that!? No, no, he thinks with sudden malicious delight. This could be good. She never gives out personal information on television; in fact, there’s been nothing to mention her special day on Channel 8. Oh yes. Yes. Creep her out. Let her know he’s got his eye on her. He’s no cotton candy filled tree huger that looks after three year old, snot-nosed brats. He’s a fucking _supervillain_ , goddamnit. Not just a villain, but a _super_ one. Every criminal or subpar villain in the whole tristate area, much less the world, quivered at his very named! Much to his anger, he still remembers the look of amusement on her face when he looked up from that day on her floor, to find her watching him interact with her son. Megamind refuses to let her think he’s some friendly misunderstood mutt. He’s evil. Cruel. Merciless. Malicious. Bad to the bone! 

Yet he nearly trips over himself when the phone rings.

_Rings._

Shaking, and completely forgetting his inner evil monologuing, he glances around for some answer. Like that would help. His herd of bots all simultaneously look at his phone, and he suddenly feels like a zookeeper in a cage of hungry lions with nothing but a single stake with him. Waving his hands to shoo them off, he turns his back to them and flips his phone open.

“Ollo?”

“You know what?” Her voice comes through the speakers with venom. “You’re an ass.”

He’s not sure how to respond, but when one of his bots, Spikeless, nudges against him with a wrench, Megamind barks out a short evil _Mawhaha_. Grabbing the wrench, but unable to take it as the bot growls and tugs it back, he answers her with, “I appreciate the compliment. Hmm, and, my sweet nosy reporter, how are you on your very special day? You know, I’m not really so merciful like I am today.” He speaks with all the lowest seduction possible, just to annoy her. Perhaps shake her up, too. It’s hard to get a reaction out of her, these days.

“Oh, sure, merciful,” she snaps. “Do you know what time it is? Five in the evening. Where the hell were you?”

Megamind blinks.

Wait, what?

“Um—”

“You never bother with me on Fridays, and thanks for that by the way. So I’m expecting you today! But you never came, flake!”

“Uh—“

“Oh, speechless now? Well, where were you earlier? Huh?”

“It’s… your birthday, so I assumed—“

“Right. Assumed. You know I had a high school teacher who taught me a VERY important lesson. Never assume, because it makes an ASS out of U and ME.”

“I—“

“I swear to God you are the most frustrated man I know. Hell, I don’t even know if I should call you a man! What even ARE you?”

“I’m—“

“You know what,” she says again, “forget I asked. I was completely prepared for you today and you NEVER showed in that stupid invisible car of yours or that poor fish you slave away!”

Megamind is speechless at this point.

What—what had happened for Miss Ritchi to be so… vexed? She always found something to complain about during his schemes. And assu—observing—that she always made time for her son, she had to have wanted this day for him and the rest of her family and friends. She’s a major icon in Metrocity now, so she’s bound to have close chums to “hang” with.

Why was she so upset he never picked her up today?

Miss Ritchi suddenly lets out a loud, exhausted sigh. His ears prick up in attention, hearing her put something heavy down. The sounds of her offspring murmur in the distance, faint and soft, until he hears the shrill call of _Mommy!_.“I’m—sorry, look, I’ve had a stressful day and it’s not over yet. I need to handle Aid— _I’ll be there in a minute baby!_ —and finish paperwork. Goodbye, Megamind.”

She hangs up.

He’s left with the long beep of the dropped line. 

…It didn’t sound like a good “bye”. 

~.~.~.~

By nine o’clock he’s mad with questions. Something happened to Miss Ritchi. Something _would_ happen to Miss Ritchi. Something happened to to the Ritchi Offspring. Something…

Either way, he’s dying to know what made her so angry earlier. So, by the time the sun has set and the boy is bound to be asleep, he mounts his hoverbike and takes off toward her place. 

He reassures himself he’s not worried about them. No, sir! He’s just—concerned for the wellbeing of her and the child, since without her he’d have no damsel, and with no offspring, by extension her as well. They needed to be—fine. Yes. They needed to be fine. For his plans. _Nothing more._ This would be very quick, he tells himself.

He parks his bike on her balcony, and hops down onto the ground, shuffling his feet around as he comes up to the window. 

It’s dark and quiet. The only light on in her apartment is the dim one over the dinning room table, to which Miss Ritchi herself sits at, with her arms crossed and her head down.

He blinks owlishly, and, mildly bewildered by such behavior, taps on the glass.

Her head jolts up in surprise, and she looks around wildly. Once her steel blue eyes land on him, she frowns. However, she pushes her chair back and stands up, stretching her back by pressing her hands to her wide, child-baring hips. He tries not to dwell on that bit.

She comes to the door and unlocks it, opening it wide. He eyes her warily, wondering if her seemingly welcoming self was a trap. He was at least eighty percent certain.

“Hey,” she says, voice hoarse and quiet. He narrows his eyes.

“What happened?”

“What?” Her eyes dart to the side, very briefly. 

“Don’t play the fool with me, Miss Ritchi,” he bares his teeth. “You’ve looked like you’ve seen better days.”

This makes her sigh. “It’s just been a long day… I needed to vent and ended up biting your head off.”

The side of his mouth twitches upward. “My head is still very much attached!”

She shushes him. “Aiden’s finally asleep.”

He huffs.

“Come in or leave,” she tells him. “Don’t let the cold air in.”

He shouldn’t be here. He’s already chummy enough with her and that’s no good. Second of all, he does plan on putting his next plan into action very soon, and can’t risk Metro Man dragging him to prison yet. It’s her birthday, and her boyfriend would be with her. Right?

Yet, he finds himself, against his will, following her inside and gently shutting the glass doors behind him. The smells of her home are enticing. Like ginger and coffeecake, pumpkin spice and cinnamon. Scents from breakfast. Her perfume. Her natural scent. The little air freshener on the coffee table. Something breaded and meaty—chicken fingers, he guesses, seeing a dirtied pan on the kitchen counter with bread crumbs decorating the tin foil. Freshly washed laundry. There’s a pile on the end of her couch. Youth and fertility. He knows the child’s scent by now. He sniffs again, and guesses that she might also be on her monthly bleed.

Sometimes it’s embarrassing how strong his nose is. He can still feel the slap of his schoolteacher’s hand on his cheek when he asked if she was on her “period”. 

Blissfully oblivious to his observation, she pads back into her home on bare feet, collapsing on her couch most dramatically. Megamind gulps, but refuses to let his nervousness show. Instead, he adopts a look of severe solemnness. He’s simply here to make sure she’s fine, and that the child’s fine. Because come Monday, she’ll be his for his next great evil scheme in the never-ending fight against Metro Man.

She rolls her head back and lets out a wine. He raises an eyebrow, but he doesn’t have to ask as she jumps into it. “My boss was on my ass all day about some reports supposedly due yesterday, when me and my entire damn floor knew it was suppose to be for next Tuesday.”

He’s never heard her curse before, he realizes with mild amusement, but the severity of her voice tells him it’s not a time to mock or tease.

“And to make it worse, I’ve just found out my cameraman’s retiring. I was introduced to my new guy today, and—he could not stop making the creepiest remarks, I swear—And once I got to the daycare, I pick up Aiden, and I talk to another mom for a minute, and guess what? Apparently her daughter said that one of the other boys bites Aiden! Apparently this is an ongoing problem that’s been happening all week! But did no one tell me? No! I had to learn it from another parent! God I was so mad!”

He wonders if he should tell Miss Ritchi that her voice is being raised, but decides against it.

“They’re terrified that I’ll tell Wayne and he’ll burn the place down in revenge. They are so—ugh, and because of _you,_ ” she spats, “I can’t put Aiden into a better daycare, one that specializes in the visually impaired! Why are you so—UGH. You drive me up the fucking wall!”

Megamind shifts his weight from foot to foot.

“And—my ex is blowing up my phone.” His eyes widen. “I had to block him after fifteen calls in a row, but then he tried calling me on a pay phone and—”

“Are you not—are you not close to the offspring’s father?”

“Take a wild guess, Sherlock.”

Nostrils flaring, he sits down on the edge of the coffee table and threats his fingers together. 

“And Aiden had a complete meltdown today. He wanted some piece of candy he got from the daycare but, I already let him have some sugary cereal for breakfast and for lunch he had some processed crap sandwich, so I wanted to give him something healthy for dinner but he wouldn’t—so I ended up making more processed crap—“ She buries her head in her hands. “I don’t know what the hell I’m even doing most of the time. I’m barely fit enough to take care of myself, but a kid? This isn’t—this isn’t where I pictured myself five years ago!” Her voice breaks up.

She’s crying, he thinks, but it’s silent if that’s true.

He’s not good with—interactions. His uncles, the Warden, they weren’t exactly the doting mother types, but they raised him into he was today, so handling this mushy lovey-dovey stuff was waaaaay out of his capabilities. But, the super villain stands up, his cape rustling, and quietly approaches her. 

She doesn’t look up even as he comes beside her, hovering over her hunched over form. Tentatively, he reaches out and pats her head.

“There, there.”

She sniffles and looks up, eyeing him like he’s grown a second head. Well. He’s not sure what else to do, and he read once that comforting touches and words help people who are sad. To his annoyance, she begins to laugh. It’s a wet sound. “Why am I even telling you this? I should hate you.”

He doesn’t really like the word “hate”. He’d prefer it if she was _afraid_ of him. However, Megamind doesn’t respond as he retracts his hand, closing back into him self because he’s doing a terrible job of comforting the weepy female. 

“I’m sorry, about—earlier. I just. Today’s been so nuts as it is that I forgot it was my own birthday. No one else thought of it, and my mom’s in Miami with her new boyfriend or something. _You,_ of all people, my _serial kidnapper_ , did and—I think I broke then and there.”

“It is somewhat forgivable.”

She snorts.

“You know, Aiden thinks the world of you. He asks me all the time if ’Mr. Blue’ is coming over. When you left after bringing us back home he talked my ear off about all the animal stuff you taught him.”

He bares his teeth, turning his head up. “It’s not my intention to entertain children.”

“Well, maybe not for you, but is certainly is for _Mr. Blue_ ”

Megamind breaks the threats of bonding with her by hissing, “Where’s your boyfriend in tights?”

“Wha—”

“Mr. Blue!?”

Sure enough, it was then that the boy decided to arouse from his slumber. Wincing, he looks up and finds said child at the railing, face against the bars.

“Aiden,” Miss Ritchi sighs, patiently, and gets up to pick the boy up once he clobbers down the stairs in purple pajamas. The boy squirms in his arms, dropping his stuffed crocodile in obvious excitement. “What do we say?”

“Hi, Mr. Blue,” the boy said in a cheery voice. Megamind grimaced and huffed in response. She comes over with her son perched on her hip, eyes shifting from one to the other.

“Offspring,” he greets. “Shouldn’t you be in bed?”

“I make-d you something,” Aiden says, completely ignoring his inquiry. “Mommy? Get it?”

“What’s the magic word?”

“Plu-eeeees!”

“Hold on.”

She sets her son down on the couch and walks over to the kitchen, where she grabs a small blue backpack he guesses is the boy’s. Aiden, once free, darts forward with his arms out. Megamind, more disarmed than he ever was in a situation, draws his hands up to his chest in shock as the offspring finds him and latches onto his leg. 

Oh, god, what is it doing?

“It’s my mommy’s birthday!” Aiden shouts, face plastered against his spandex. 

“I am aware.”

“She said we could make cake tomorrow.”

“Cake is good.”

“What’s this?” The boy asks, fingers grabby and curious against him. They find his de-gun holster. 

“My gun.”

Aiden’s reaction is immediate. “A _gun?_ Are you the po-leese!?”

“No,” he replies just as quickly, almost sneering it. 

“Aiden,” Miss Ritchi calls to her offspring, and _finally_ the boy let go of him from his death grip. Megamind lets out a large breath of air he wasn’t aware he was holding. Subconsciously, he feared that if he so much as breathed on the child Miss Ritchi could come down upon him with all the fierce protectiveness she had. 

When she takes her son’s tiny hand, she places a dark object in his palm. Aiden grips it, turns it around, and turns around. He’s not facing Megamind, but he assumed the boy is addressing him. When the small hand holding said object reaches out, he looks up and meet Miss Ritchi’s gaze. She mouths, _take it_ , and so he does. Licking his lips, he bends down and reaches out.

“I made you!” Aiden announced proudly once he takes it. Megamind raises an eyebrow, examining the baked clay object. It was a few inches long, with one large oval, and a thin body, with two branches sticking out—oh god was the offspring trying to mold _him?_

“I even got your gloves,” the boy continues, hands covering the alien’s, and moving his fingers over what he assumed was the arms. A tiny mass covered the ends. “Mommy said you’re gloves aren’t really made out of kids.”

“What? Of course th—“ Miss Ritchi shoots him a look over her son’s hand, so he shuts up.

“Aiden, I think Mr. Blue needs to get back home,” she says gently. This causes the boy to whine out in question, and grip onto Megamind’s hands harder. 

“But he just got-ed here!”

“It’s his bedtime, too, booger.”

“But—“

Megamind retracts his hands as quickly as possible, because the boy begins to whine in protest. No one’s been this excited by his presence before, nor so sad to have him go. Usually there are cheers once he leaves. But Aiden Ritchi breaks down and falls to his hands in knees, kicking as his mother picks him up. Aiden latches onto her neck. “He’s tired,” she explained, bouncing him. “You should go.”

He nods. He had overstayed his welcome, and—

She reaches out to grab his hand. Instantly bewildered, he looks down at her feminine, lady-like hand, nails painted coral, holding onto his long lanky one, clad in leather. “Thanks for listening,” she says, quiet yet audible over Aiden’s gentle sobbing. “I’ll see you next week?”

“Probably,” he says numbly when she lets go, and his hand drops limply by his side. She holds his eyes contact for a moment longer, before turning around to go to the stairs.

He’s not good with this type of stuff. Domestic life isn’t something for him, nor is he kind. He’s not friendly, he’s not huggable, he’s not even human. But.

“Miss Ritchi,” he calls, and she halts half way up the stairs. She turns to him. Aiden’s already quiet for the most part, but hums brokenly. “Happy Birthday. Even if the day isn’t so happy.

She stares at him. Her expression is unreadable, but she still makes his knees weak. It’s an evil move he’s yet to understand from her.

Megamind turns around and quietly closes the glass doors behind him. He grabs the handles of his bike, but, before leaving, he watches her disappear through her son’s bedroom. With her softly singing voice is out of his ear shot, he leaves.

~.~.~

When Megamind gets home, he puts the small clay object into one of his machines and examines it. For any possibility that she might have put a camera or recorder into her offspring’s creation. He’s getting onto dangerous grounds with Miss Ritchi; the fact that the toddler has come attached to him is bad enough. She could use it to bring him down; spy on him; find his weakness and use it against him. She could be trying to get something embarrassing about him to tell Metro Man or the press.

When the results are done, he looks over the screen for the proof that she’s not all the lady she pretends to be.

But it’s just clay.


	6. Chapter 6

Miss Ritchi is a creature of habit, Megamind concludes.

Well. At least she tried to be; juggling a blind son and a job that guaranteed frequent kidnapping threw in a few variables. However, she did follow a pattern he had picked up on as they wrapped up their first year together as an iconic pair. 

In the morning, she takes Aiden to daycare which starts at seven thirty—Milford Preschool Program, a private daycare that catered to various needs. Despite its rage on being certified to take care of young children of mixed backgrounds and requirements, the reviews were mediocre. This was what Miss Ritchi had nearly brought herself to tears over on her birthday. She’s mentioned a specific daycare she wanted, one that specifically specialized in the visually impaired, but… well, she made it quite clear why she couldn’t put her son there.

He frowned.

Once she dropped her offspring off, she headed to work. She works with a pudgy red-haired man named Hal Stewart, after her previous cameraman retired. He knows what she’s doing at work, most of the time. Typically work ends at three o’clock for her. By then he’s forbidden to mess with her. Once she’s off work, she picks up Aiden Ritchi. On Mondays she goes shopping, usually at a local farmer’s market or a small shoppe where she won’t be bothered too much. On Tuesdays and Thursdays she makes appointments, for her or for the child. Fridays she splurges. Wednesdays are for relaxing. Of course this schedule doesn’t always go smoothly. On average, it’s about sixty nine percent like this. Despite her tendency to do things orderly, she’s quite flexible. 

Since October he swore he would stop this nonsense he was getting into with her and the offspring. He was getting too close; too personal. The boy already was in a delusional state—Aiden _thought the world of him_ , as she put it. Lordy. He was in too deep.

Megamind shook himself and took a good five steps backwards from the situation. No more would he meddle with her personal life! If he knew what was good for him, he never should have bothered with her outside of his grand plans. He never should have found out Aiden Ritchi even existed—never should have pried her personal files open with greedy eyes. Never should have stepped foot into her apartment. 

He avoids her on holidays. He doesn’t ask if they celebrated Halloween, despite curious as to how they would go about doing that. It was a children’s holiday, he thinks, with the going door-to-door and begging for sugary treats or threats of tricks. All of it based off a Celtic, pagan holiday that somehow morphed into a friendly non-religious celebration… How would Aiden do that? He was young, barely four, so holding his mother’s hand wasn’t too odd. Would he get a cane soon? No, no, Megamind shakes his head. No thinking that. That’s not his problem.

When December comes he doesn’t ask if she’ll celebrate Christmas or Chanukah or something else. He barely associates with her at all during that month. He _hates_ December. 

When the New Year arrives, he emerges from his self induced depression and throws himself into a poorly thought out plan. He kidnaps her himself this time, tying her hands behind her back and to the chair, putting on false cheer as he jumps into his evil monologue the moment she opens her eyes. She’s not quite getting into it, but rolls her eyes like she always does when he dangles her over his crocodiles. Aaah, yes. Just want he needs. From familiarity. Leave it to Miss Ritchi to at least do her part in that regard. 

The plan ends quickly; Metro Man comes flying through today’s warehouse like a reckless idiot, knocking his damsel over in then process. Hissing, he turns to her and attempts to pick her back up, but _he_ swoops them up and immediately goes for his interview, Megamind dangling from his collar, and Miss Ritchi squeezed to his side looking just as miserable as him. Well. At least he gets the pleasure of knowing Miss Ritchi won’t be giving her boyfriend any favors today. 

But still, Megamind was humiliated on live TV. Miss Ritchi was taken to see a medic for her scraped knee and cheek, and Megamind is thrown into prison again, and all is back to normal. Sort of. 

He doesn’t stay long in his cell, taking no time to relax before signaling Minion* to break him out quickly. Megamind doesn’t speak at all on the way back to the Lair. He goes to sleep the moment he gets back, and wakes up the next day in a state of mild melancholy.

Today was the nineteenth of January, around six in the evening. He was busy metaphorically licking his wounds after that painfully failed battle with Mr. Goodie Two-Shoes and thinking of ways he could better guard Miss Ritchi when Meat Head comes crashing in. His pride was indeed damaged—for being caught so easily, and for feeling dread over the fact she was hurt. It felt like real pain. Nearly. He’s used to failure. It’s an educational experience. But this time he wished a black hole would swallow him up like it did his home planet. The woman getting hurt… That. Was. Not good.  _It was bad. Very bad. Not **good**  bad either_.So when his business cell chimes in alarm, he half expects it to be one of his contacts in regard to something trivial in the underworld. He’s actually surprised to see Miss Ritchi’s number. What? Megamind scoots up in his chair, immediately thinking the damage that was caused to her affected with the offspring.   
_**Are you free right now?**_  The text says.

He squinted at his phone. What did she mean, was he free? Was this a trick question? A joke? Was she being literal or not? Surely this text isn’t meant for him. Had to be for someone else. There’s no reason—  
_**It’s Aiden’s birthday. He’d like to talk to you.**_  

Megamind choked on his own tongue. This certainly wasn’t for him!

He responds with, _**I beg your pardon?**_

_**Don’t be a mean, he’s four**_

_**Miss Ritchi do you realize this is I, MEGAMIND?**_

_**I am aware.**_

He could practically HEAR her obnoxious, sarcastic voice through the one sentence.

Before he could even voice if he was “free”, his phone rings and her number appears on the screen, the image of a green phone vibrating and annoying his frazzled nerves. But, the alien sighs and presses accept. He was going to regret this. He wasn’t a pet meant to entertain the Ritchi Offspring, or Miss Ritchi herself. Especially not her. However, he did owe her, in a demented sense, due to last kidnapping’s failure which resulted in her injury.

“Hey,” she greeted him in a voice that was softer then he expected. He expected mild resentment at best, with a quick “here is the offspring” introduction, greet said offspring with curtness and an Animalia fact he should find mentally stimulating for the day, and then receive a curt goodbye from Miss Ritchi. But she befuddles him more by adding, “You okay?” Something like a metal pan is put onto solid counter echos over the phone line. 

“I don’t know what you mean, Miss Ritchi. You did hit your head, perhaps you shouldn’t be alone with th—”

He hears her sigh over the line—and can nearly see her rolling her blue eyes. An oven door is shut. “I got a scraped knee, not a concussion, genius.”

Any other time he would have purred at the acknowledgment of his intellectual superiority, but he frowned at her disrespectful tone. How rude. “Humph.”

“Anyway—Aiden! Mr. Blue’s on the phone!”

In the background, Megamind hears the thundering of little feet against carpet, and the muffled sound of a small body colliding into Miss Ritchi, and her lecturing him not to run in the house least he hurt himself. Megamind imagines the young mother throwing her arm out to catch her spawn in time before it ran into a counter. 

The phone is put on speaker, he knows because of the sound changes (she clearly does not trust him not to brainwash the boy over the phone if left alone), and then handed to another hand. A little hand. “Mr. Blue!” Comes a squeaky voice.

“Greetings, Offspring.”

Aiden giggles and Megamind hears him start to walk about the apartment. “It’s my birthday!”

“So I’ve been told.”

“My mommy’s gonna make chocolate cake, like we’s did’s on her birthday.”

“Hmm.” He cannot lie; it’s a deliciously tempting thing to think of going over to his damsel’s apartment and stealing some of this chocolate cake for himself. Megamind eats little as it is, so Minion rarely makes such sugary confections for his charge/boss. But Megamind does not entertain the thought long. Even he doesn’t believe in “taking candy from a baby”. Especially a blind baby.

“Uncle Bernard come over today.”

“Is that so.”

“He gave me a book about space. It’s got those weird bumps. Mommy reads it and makes me feel it.”

“I believe that’s Braille.”

“That’s what Mommy calls it. I gots two others.” 

“Now you have three. Congratulations.”

“Are you gonna come over?”

“No.”

“Why?”

He thinks he hears Miss Ritchi answer with, _”Mr. Blue is a very busy man.”_

Aiden whines in response, clearly not seeing that as a good explanation. “We could have a sleepover!”

Megamind narrows his eyes, taking a sudden fascination with a piece of dirt on his work table. Sleep-over. What a word, and a word he only heard a handful of times in that godawful half a year at school. An activity that involved two or more children sleeping in the same house. Megamind knew the word was used between close chums. The boys, including Metro Idiot, gathered around one day and planed a “sleep-over” at the Scott Manor. At the time, Megamind decided this was a human bonding activity, and decided he wanted in. They took one look at him and said, _“Blue’s weird, he can’t come.”_

His mother makes a sound of mild indignation at her son’s suggestion, and Megamind’s frown deepens. _”Aiden,"_ she laughs, _"he’s a grown-up.”_

“But Johnny’s mommy has sleepovers with grown-ups. They even sleep in the same room.”

Miss Ritchi audibly choked on something. Megamind wasn’t sure where he stood in the conversation, for he and the offspring both were clueless to the woman’s shock.

“You could sleep with Mommy!” Shouts Aiden into the phone’s speaker, delighted by this suggestion. Megamind was at least smart enough to pick up on a double meaning, despite the boy’s innocence about it all. He felt his face flush and burrowed himself in his cape.

Miss Ritchi makes another sound of suffocation. _”Okay, that’s enough sugar for you,”_ says the maternal figure. _”Say bye-bye to M—“_

“No!” The boy shouts and moves around, specifically away from his mother. “I’s need to say something.”

“What?” 

“Did you—did you—did you’s know kanga-woos have pockets on their tummy? Their babies go inside!”

“Yes. As all marsupials.”

“What’s that?”

“A marsupial is a mammal which is born underdeveloped and must move to the protective pouch at the mother’s belly. The only marsupial to reside in America is the opossum.”

“What’s that?”

“An opossum is—“

Megamind loses track of time. He begins to tinker on his work desk, grabbing a long blueprint and a white pencil to scribble out an idea. He puts the phone between his ear and his collar, head bent to the side to keep it up. The alien talks about this and that, with Aiden babbling in response about whatever inquiry he has, or the joys that happened on his special day of celebration of one’s coming into this world. This entails something at daycare or something his mother had done or said. Through their conversation, if one may call the child’s prattling and Megamind’s incomprehensible grunts, or the long scientific explanations to every _Why_ or _What’s that_ , he finds himself getting more involved, going as far as to use gesticulations with his free hand. 

Miss Ritchi goes silent in the background; going unnoticed by either male. Eventually, Megamind holds his tongue and looks back at his work. A quite admirable plan has been drawn out, with what he thinks is an original contraption to do it with. Yes. Worthy of his hands and brain to build!

 _”Aiden,”_ comes Miss Ritchi’s soft voice in the distance. _“Do you want to decorate your cake?”_

The boy suddenly drops the phone, abandoning his engrossing conversation. He nearly screams in excitement and goes bounding, carefully, to his mother. Megamind blinks. Mildly he thinks, how can a blind child decorate a cake? But what really bugs him is how casually the conversation was ended. Had he just been _dropped_? Him? Megamind, Master of all Villainy, was _dropped?_!?

With a huff, he pushes his chair back and looks at the time. 

Oh good God. Was it— _It was seven o’five._

_He’d been talking for an hour._

Suddenly the phone was being picked up. “Hey,” Miss Ritchi’s soft voice comes through, with the sound of the speaker being taken off. He had become used to the offspring’s jabber that he’d almost forgotten her voice. That gave him a much different response, and he held his breath as her soft tones flooded his ear. _Hey_ was such a casual word. So breathy. He shivered and pulled his cape around him. Maybe he should have a heater in here.

“Ollo.”

“It’s pronou—never mind.” 

“I beg your pardon?”

She chuckled, which annoyed him. “Anyway, I’ll get off your back. Thanks, by the way.”

“Hardly that. I’m doing this because blood was drawn today.”

“Hardly that,” she mimics him, which makes his cheeks turn a deep purple. “But thanks again."

"Humph! Don't call me up with such trivial matters, Miss Ritchi! I do not exist for the offspring's leisure!"

"Right, right, my bad," she says, unfocused. 

"Besides, you have, a, _Uncle Bur-nard?_ "

"Oh, yeah, him" she responds mildly. He narrows his eyes. Involuntarily his fist clentches.

"Is this person a problem?"

"What? No. No, not really. He's just my ex-brother-in-law. Kind of an ass but not as bad as Charles." Megamind knows who Charles is - the father - but he doesn't voice that he knows. Perhaps she assumed he'd draw his own conclusions. "He tolerates Aiden so I'll tolerate him."

"Like me?" Aaah, so that's why she doesn't try to murder him over the phone with words!

"To be honest? Partially. But you've seen Aiden more times than Bernard has."

"Oh. Alright then." He's not sure what to do with that information.

"… And Megamind?”

“What?” He snaps, but it’s without bite. He wants to sound intimidating, but after sixty minutes of talking to a four year old, he’s a little smothered.

“Take care of yourself, okay? Wayne hit you pretty hard today.”

Megamind swallows and says a stiff goodbye before hanging up. _I’m in too deep..._


End file.
